


That's Not Quite an Answer

by ModernAgeSomniari



Series: Mala Suledin Nadas [13]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Eli is thirst af, F/M, Unresolved Sexual Tension, like wow, which is where the mature comes from btw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:35:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26127367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ModernAgeSomniari/pseuds/ModernAgeSomniari
Summary: Eli is searching for Solas at Haven, but comes across him doing something rather unexpected.
Relationships: Female Lavellan/Solas
Series: Mala Suledin Nadas [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1829143
Comments: 6
Kudos: 36





	That's Not Quite an Answer

Eli woke early, luxuriating in a proper bed after days on the road.Especially the last few where they’d been up in the mountains.Aravels had been cold enough in the snow, tents were significantly less insulated.The bed in her little shack was large and covered with blankets - it may not have been as comfortable as her bed in the aravel, but she doubted the villagers of Haven were up to hunting the birds necessary to stuff their mattresses with the feathers.The wood was cold against her bare feet as she stood, stretching, padding over to the little area screened off for morning ablutions.She found the whole concept of a bucket for that sort of thing a bit disgusting, but Cassandra had forbidden her to go to the woods to do it, something about ‘Herald of Andraste’ and ‘propriety’.One of the servants had brought another bucket last night with fresh water in it and she winced at the cold as she crouched and dangled one hand in it.Closing her eyes, she allowed the heat of the flames at her fingertips to heat the frigid liquid until steam came off the top and only then did she dip the flannel left for her in the water and quickly wash herself.

She remembered Hearthmistress Ashanaya getting so excited one time when they were skirting Starkhaven because the hunters had come back with some rare herb.The camp had stunk for three days, but at the end she had made a large quantity of soaps that they had all treasured for their scent.The soap here felt like it was made of dandelion nectar and bitter roots, but she still felt cleaner for it afterwards.It made her feel slightly homesick, but that was quite common at the moment.In a way, she preferred being out on the road than in Haven - people were beginning to think she belonged here.

Varric was at the main fire when she approached him, her bare toes crunching in the snow.He gave her a large grin and passed her some freshly fried oatcakes and honeyed tea.At least someone was happy.He seemed busy, though, sifting through various papers with a crease on his brow, so she kissed him lightly on the forehead and let him be.

She knew who she wanted to go and see.Their adventures in the Hinterlands had devolved into the territory of nightmares after Redcliffe, but had been illuminating none the less.There had been a report from one of Leliana’s agents that the scouts who had been sent to Wycome had landed safely in Kirkwall and were making their way northwards, extra Dalish mage in tow.She hoped Mihris was behaving herself.She and Solas had been easier with each other since then, although it helped that they had got themselves thoroughly engrossed in searching for fragments of Tyrrda’s legend.She was beginning to enjoy his company more, to be less afraid that he would suddenly turn on her and her people whenever he was feeling cranky.True, they avoided certain topics, but even when they had been discussing more general magical theory he had listened and debated her experiences fairly, not jumping to conclusions like he had before.

As she passed the tavern, she caught some of the servers there taking out some rubbish and smiled at them, waving.She liked that they smiled and waved back rather than look at her fearfully - she’d been working quite hard before they’d left for the Hinterlands to ensure that they would.

“Anything special on the menu tonight?” she called out.One of them grimaced (Tobias, she thought his name was).

“Not particularly, your worship.Although the hunters brought some good dried meat back from near Redcliffe.”

She made a face sympathetically - dried meat may be fine on its own, but wasn’t particularly good at being used in dishes.

Hopping up the steps to where Solas did his research, she greeted a few people already waiting in line for Adan and then knocked on the door of Solas’ hut.When there was no reply, she knocked again - it was quite early in the day, although the sun was most definitely up.Perhaps he was engrossed in something?

“Your…your worship?”

She turned to find a young elven woman carrying a laundry basket on her hip.The poor thing looked a bit terrified, so Eli made sure her smile was warm as she inclined her head.

“Just ‘Ellana’ is fine, if that makes you more comfortable.What’s your name?”

The girl swallowed, eyes wide.

“Um, Jan, your wor….Ellana.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Jan.I haven’t seen you before.”

“Oh, I came up whilst you were away, miss.My master wanted to come and speak to the Ambassador, but then I came here and I didn’t want to leave.Lady Leliana said I could stay if I made myself useful, that you would be happy for me to stay?”

“Of course I’m happy, Jan.I hope you’re being treated well?”

“Oh yes,” Jan answered, warming up now Eli clearly wasn’t going to smite her with holy flame.“And it’s good to be doing something that means something, isn’t it?You being the Herald of Andraste and all.I always went to Chantry on Sundays, miss.Always.”

Eli tried not to let her smile fade.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself.Did you want something?”

“Oh!Yes, I was wondering if you were looking for your friend?Messere Solas?”

“I think he prefers just ‘Solas’, as well.”

“Yes, yes of course.I just wanted to let you know that he left early this morning, went up into the woods above the Chantry?He wasn’t carrying anything with him, though, so he can’t have gone far.”

Eli smiled at her again, thanking her for letting Eli know.Jan beamed, blushing as she took her laundry out of the small square.Eli wished she could rid herself of the nausea that came with people insisting on her being the Herald, wished that she could see a way to rid them of the notion.Perhaps this was why she wanted to see Solas so much.It didn’t take much deliberation to decide to follow him - at least she’d get a nice morning walk if she didn’t find him.

The path up into the woods was just behind the Chantry and she took a moment to bow her head at the small clearing where Ghila and Yerevan’s memorial stones were.Then she was in the trees, the low hustle and bustle of Haven falling away until there was nothing but silence and early morning light.The pale bark seemed almost as white as the snow that lay on the branches, these small trees quiet and waiting for spring, whatever green they possessed locked tightly up inside them against the cold.She loved to brush her fingers gently over the rough trunks, imagining she could feel the life pent up inside.There had been some woods in her life where she could do just that.She wondered if Solas had ever been there, ever dreamed amongst the evergreen trunks of northern Nevarra, the gentle oaken slopes of Starkhaven, the tangled heat of southern Antivan jungle and old, old forests in places where not even the greatest of shemlen nations could claim any part of it other than a pathetic name in ink on a map.He still hadn’t told her much about his past or his studies and she was desperate to know, excited to see how his experiences matched with hers.She couldn’t travel the Fade like he could and so her knowledge was grounded in reality.What had she seen that he had missed as he slept and what had he done that she never could?What could their combined experiences tell them both?

She only came across him by accident, just as she was beginning to wonder why she couldn’t see any tracks.Her eyes had been naturally scanning for them, but perhaps he had just taken a more winding path.His slow movement had nevertheless been in stark enough comparison to the stillness of the woods that she’d spotted him from quite far away, but the sight once she’d worked out what she was seeing was enough to stop her in her tracks, breath catching slightly in her throat.

He was shifting through a series of movements she half recognised as part of the Vir Atish’an.Combining many still forms and movements through those forms, it was a method of slow training that was taught to most of the Clan throughout their lives as a way to learn their own body and find peace between themselves and the world around them.Her brother had always been awful at it being far too impatient, but Eli had come to enjoy it once she had dedicated herself to her own magical talent and future role as First.Solas was employing forms she had never seen before, with transitions strange yet somehow achingly familiar.He was amazing, his body moving with such fluidity and grace one moment to poised, anticipating stillness the next.His eyes were gently shut, the sun filtering through the trees in the small clearing he’d found dappling the light over him.In front of him was a slope down to the main valley that laid out the whole lake.

He was also, despite the snow, shirtless.Eli came forward slowly, not wanting to disturb but frankly unable not to come closer.He’d clearly been working for some time - there was a sheen of sweat over a chest more lean than she’d expected, faint ridges of muscle on his stomach not so defined, but enough that the early morning sunlight played over them in a way Eli found utterly mesmerising.Gods but he was beautiful.Her mind and body were at war with themselves - on the one hand she just wanted to continue watching him, seeing him move through the forms of their people with all the expertise of someone who’d been doing it their whole life.On the other she felt her mouth go dry at the thought of running her tongue over that stomach, to feel the sheen of sweat against her own naked body as she pressed up against him.She couldn’t help imagining what this tight control would mean in sex, how he would hold himself above her, move her body to where he needed it to be to make her toes curl.Her breath came out in a stutter as she tried to calm herself - Dread Wolf take her naked in front of the Clan fire but she hadn’t quite realised just how much she wanted him.

The sound of her breath was enough and his eyes opened languidly, fixing straight on her and making her stop in her tracks.Her hands extended in placation immediately.

“I’m sorry, Solas.I didn’t mean to intrude.Please, let me leave you in peace.”

He slowly placed his foot on the ground from where he had been balancing, like he could stand there on one leg through a hurricane if he wished.He didn’t stop as he spoke, although the next series of movements she recognised as those that would bring one down from the Way, beginning to end the session.

“I was almost finished anyway.”

She greedily took that as tacit permission to stay and decided to lean up against one of the trees near him to try and relearn how to breathe.Not that she kept her eyes off him as he went through the last of the motions.He planted both feet solidly on the ground, raising both arms palms down at his chest to push down like he took his own soul and gave it to the earth.As he moved through this last motion his eyes opened again from where they had closed. They looked directly at her, though he had not watched her move and there was a lazy heat in them that made her swallow.She had taken lovers in the Clan who had been learning the Way as part of their craft and knowing precisely what sex after such a session could be like was not helping her situation in the slightest.He would be languid and strong all in one, his senses would be heightened and his consciousness newly extended to encompass all feeling in his body.She could have him writhing before she came close to his cock, trailing fingers over skin warmed with near sweat to raise the soft hairs at the nape of his neck, scraping the gentlest of nails over his back until he shuddered with it.

He had finished and she should probably say something.To her credit, she used him turning away to reach for his things to clear her throat a little so she could speak with sounding like he’d half had her already.

“I recognise some of those.Did you learn it as the Vir Atish’an or did it have another name?”

He looked back at her from taking water from his flask, his attention and obvious curiosity doing nothing to douse whatever flames had taken hold of her body this morning.The fact that he seemed utterly uncaring of his partial nudity (something she had already tired of amongst the shemlen) did not help.At all.

“It was part of thethe Vir Atish’an where I learned it, too.I was not aware the Dalish still practiced it.”

“It’s different in some ways - I didn’t recognise all of the forms but the basic principals seem to be the same.Not everyone is very good at it, so we don’t demand it of everyone, but it’s generally used as an educational tool first and then a healing tool if need be.”

“Healing?”

“Yes.Often our Hearthmistress will take any newcomers as students to help them deal with any darkness they have lived through.Sometimes it takes feeling connected to something to allow for grief to manifest.And…

“…only when grief manifests can it be taken care of.” Solas finished quietly, something close to a smile in his eyes.“I am glad such things are still part of your life.”

Eli smiled and nodded, watching him reach for his undershirt and begin to put it on.It clung to his arms and torso as he did, distractingly enough she almost didn’t hear him.“Is it something that you enjoy?”

“Yes, actually.I didn’t at first - too hot-headed.”

He glanced over with a small grin that seemed to suggest this was something he was familiar with.“After a while though, I got better at it.It was useful, after…well, I had some trouble with my role when I was younger and the Vir Atish’an helped me focus on trying to work out what it was that I wanted.”

“And did you ever?” he asked, deftly picking up his pack and coming towards her.She really needed not to be wondering what he would smell like after exertion.

“I don’t know,” she managed to reply.“I thought I had.Then…”

He looked up towards where they both knew the Breach was.

“Ah.Yes I can imagine such a thing rather taking precedence.”

“For all of us, I would guess.”

He inclined his head towards her.

“Indeed.Shall we?”

They began to walk back together, Eli trying very hard not to be so aware of his body beside hers.Clearly she didn’t manage it, though, because she caught him catching her looking.She might have imagined the ghost of a smirk on his face, but she didn’t think so.

“I’d like to know more about you, Solas.” she declared after a few moments’ silence.

“Why?”

She looked over at him, a little dismayed to see naked suspicion on his face.Where had that come from?

“Why not?”

The frown deepened.

“Privacy?Caution?Concern about the direction of this Inquisition once our work is done?”

Oh for all the tits of Sylaise, really?She pursed her lips, feeling the anger bloom easily in her chest.Only, they’d talked about this, hadn’t they?She looked over, really looked over and saw the suspicion hiding the guardedness he’d harboured since she met him.

“Then don’t answer.” She said softly, trying not to sound hurt.She was a little, but she could understand.“I wasn’t asking as part of the Inquisition.”

Suspicion faded to mild alarm on his face and she looked away as he clearly had a little war with himself. 

“I’m…sorry.With so much fear in the air…”

To her surprise, she felt him bump his body gently into hers, the skin of his hand still warm from exercise.When she looked up she could almost see how much effort it was taking him to be open, something weirdly forced about his smile.“What would you know of me?”

She let him see her grin, genuinely this time.Then her excitement got the better of her.

“You said you’d travelled to many different places.In the Fade?Whereabouts have you been?”

She’d clearly surprised him.

“You…wish to know of my journeys in the Fade?”

“Of course!I’ve never met a somniari before - think of all the places and things you could have seen, how much more access you have to things once lost.Tell me?”

She viewed his obvious attempt not to be charmed as a win on her part, even more so when he allowed the twinkle of enthusiasm he often had when they found ruins together to shine in his eyes.

What he told her was better than she could imagine.He told it so simply, so beautifully - like he had nothing to prove.The best thing by far was how easily he warmed to a subject the more questions she asked, like he only wanted to tell someone who was as fascinated by it as he was.So much of what he said was so different from anything the shemlen wrote or said - there was no underlying morality, no inferences, just what he had seen and how he had interpreted it.That he had been to Ostagar shocked her - she didn’t know he’d travelled so far south, but the way he told the tales of the spirits he found, at once united and utterly splintered, made her feel the fear and elation in her own heart.

She didn’t want him to stop.Not just because she loved hearing about his experiences, but she could listen to his voice forever.She’d go through phases of being completely soothed by it only to then feel it coaxing those embers of desire that hadn’t quite bedded down back into flames again.It was extremely disconcerting.She wondered if there had been any others like her, entranced with his magical talent.Also, whether he’d taken them with him.Perhaps after all of this she could persuade him to allow her to travel with him too.

When she asked him if he’d always travelled alone, he shot her a strange look before answering, a little smirk on his face that told her he was about to be a shit about something.

“Not at all,” He said, obviously obtusely.“I have built many lasting friendships.Spirits of Wisdom, possessed of ancient knowledge, happy to share what they have seen.Spirits of Purpose helped me search.Even wisps, curious and playful, would point out treasures I might have missed.”

Eli laughed, delighted at the idea of her grumpy Rift-mage being bugged by little wisps of light, trying as hard not to be charmed by them as he was by her.

“We used to be warned off playing with any wisps, but the ones I found in the forest always seemed harmless enough.It was the demons that often used them to draw out prey that were the problem.”

“Trapped here on this side of the Veil, such scavenging is only natural.”

“Precisely.I don’t know of any spirits with the other names, though.”

His face grew soft, the back of his hand gently brushing hers as they started walking down a slope further from the Chantry than they had been before.She realised they’d come out nearer his hut, the other side of the fence.

“They rarely seek out this world.” He told her, softly.“When they do, their natures do not often survive exposure to the people they encounter.”

“You sound sad.What do you mean?” She asked, instinctively stepping closer to him.He noticed and smiled at her for it.

“Wisdom and Purpose are too easily twisted into Pride and Desire.”

She didn’t like how he read her clearly shocked expression - like he knew that was what she would think and judged her for it.

“So after all of the warnings, you’re saying you became friends with Pride and Desire demons?”

“They were not demons for me.”

His quiet certainty rocked her, something softly devastating about how he simply stated ideas that broke even the Dalish definition of the Fade and demons.He let them walk in silence for a while, but the more Eli thought about it, the less she was willing to let it go.She stopped them with a hand to his chest, coming round to face him.

“What does that mean?”

He was sneering at her again.

“You think me foolish?”

“I think you cryptic.And judging.Which is unfair, by the way.”

Clearly this was not what he’d expected her to say.Given how she’d just felt about him, Eli didn’t mind admitting that she found surprising him borderline arousing.Seeing him off-balance was beginning to become an addiction.“So explain.I understand that spirits can be twisted, but how were they not demons?”

The hard look faded and he shrugged.

“I may have been misleading.”

“Mmhmm?Deliberately so, I’d go as far to say?”

She was teasing him and he knew it.She much preferred this particular smirk.

“Perhaps.What I meant is that the Fade reflects the minds of the living, as we’ve spoken about.”

“Yes.”

“Well, if you expect a Spirit of Wisdom to be a pride demon, it will adapt.And if your mind is free of corrupting influences, if you understand the nature of the spirit, they can be fast friends.”

Eli thought about this for a moment, turning back to their path and clasping her hands behind her back as she began wandering forward.

“Of course, what that means is that most people going into the Fade expect to see demons, which most do.But you’re saying that even if they met Wisdom, because they expect anything with knowledge to be a pride demon, to be manipulative, the spirit will become that thing?”

“Simply put - yes.”

“But pride demons do try and manipulate people.”

“There is no one answer to this issue.Some will do so because they believe it is what is expected of them based on their reading of their audience.Some have become corrupted enough that they have a sense of their own, have decided that this is a course of action they wish to pursue.”

“So you’re not saying that every demon was made by someone misreading them?”

He hummed beside her, considering, then shook his head.

“I do not believe so.Although, there is always more to learn.”

“I’m impressed, by the way.” She told him, glad that there was still the fence between them and other people.They would hit the lake first, then come round the front. 

“Impressed?”

“That you could become friends with spirits - I’ve never been able to.”

“Anyone who can dream has the potential.Few ever try.”

“Hence the pride demons.”

He smiled, allowing the simplified point.Then his face turned sad again and he moved them off the path so that they walked up a short rise that looked over the lake.Eli took a deep breath of mountain air, watching the sunlight gleam off the map of ice cracks on the frozen water, the trees on the other side occasionally shedding their snow to leave trailing clouds of mist.

“My friends comforted me in grief and shared my joy,” Solas said softly, after a few moments.He was looking at the same scene she was, but was somehow also looking somewhere far away.“Yet, because they exist without form as we understand it, the Chantry declares that spirits are not truly people.”

“They declare a lot of people not truly people.” Eli replied with afamiliar frustration.“Although I grant you, spirits seem to be the subject of most of their wrath.”

He turned to her, his hands behind his back, standing in that way he did that made her realise how tall he was.

“Is Cassandra defined by her cheekbones and not her faith?Varric by his chest-hair and not his wit?”

There was something challenging in his voice she didn’t like and told him so.

“You’re testing me again.”

“It is just a question.”

“I don’t like it when you test me.”

“It is just a question.”

He’d gone guarded again and she wasn’t about to let him.So she smiled, mischief glinting in her eyes off the sunlight and ice.

“You have an interesting way of looking at the world, Solas.”

“I try,” he replied, suspiciously.“And that isn’t quite an answer.”

She shook her head, still smiling, her hands gently clasped behind her back.She took another step towards him, on her toes.Another, and if she leaned just a little closer their bodies would touch from hip to chest.

“I look forward to helping you make new friends.” She told him, keeping her voice soft.His eyes darted to her lips and back again, slightly parted in his uncertainty.To her utter delight, he stuttered a little when he spoke.

“That should be, well…”

She grinned, letting him watch her look at his mouth before meeting his eyes again.They were brilliant grey in the sunshine and a mixture of unsure and aroused.She loved it.

“That isn’t quite an answer, either.”

Her voice had dropped to something low and intimate and she kept herself balanced on her toes, feeling his breath quicken in his chest.A thought occurred to her.“What would I be?”

His eyes took a moment to focus.

“Pardon?”

“If Cassandra is defined by her faith and Varric his wit - how would you define me?”

He took a breath as he understood the question, his face so very close to hers.If she concentrated she could almost feel the latent heat of his exercise seeping through the wool of his shirt and onto her own skin.He let their breath mingle in the scant inch between their lips and something flipped in her stomach as she swayed slightly again, feeling like a leaf in the wind next to his solidity.She only had the briefest of smug twists of his lips to realise he was going to play with her before he leaned ever so slightly forward, his breath caressing her cold cheek.He held her eyes and his voice was low and almost spoken onto her skin.

“Curiosity.”

When he pulled away it was like a physical wrench and her body actually tipped a little forward in the space where he’d left before she fell back on her heels, letting her intake of breath translate as knowing frustration as she watched him step back and to the side of her.There was something exhilarating in the way he acknowledged it, a slight dip to his head and repressed grin telling her he knew exactly what kind of a teasing shit he was being.She chuckled at them both, shaking her head and looking back out at the lake.

“Curiosity?I think I can take that.”

“There are some who think it dangerous.”

She looked at him, not flinching from the warning in his eyes.It had less impact when he was smiling at her, anyway.

“Only when you’re not prepared.And even then, it’s often worth it.”

He laughed a little, shaking his head.She’d have to address that little tell of disbelief at some point.Possibly.Andruil’s fluffy snow-shoes - what was she getting herself into?

“If you like, you could join me tomorrow.It would be interesting to see how the Vir Atish’an has changed over time.”

She laughed, partly through joy of being asked into this obviously private time for him, partly because of his expression.

“Over time?How long ago did you learn it?”

There was something bashful in his answering huff of laughter.

“Ah.The spirit I learned from was an echo of a man long gone.I’m aware some of the forms may be…archaic.”

“Well, maybe we can compare notes and make a hybrid between the two?Only maybe not tomorrow - honestly I think I’d rather just move through the forms, it’s the perfect time for it.”

“Because of the Breach?”

She nodded, glad of his gentleness and the understanding in his eyes.

“The Breach.But truthfully, just as much the Herald of Andraste.There was this girl today…” She trailed off, not wanting to burden him.“It doesn’t matter.”

“No.” He said firmly, if softly.He hooked his fingers gently around her arm to move her into walking beside him.She was reminded fiercely of her fantasy earlier on for a quick moment.He would know precisely where to put her.

“No?”

“Tell me.” He urged.“I wish to know.”

She smiled at him, the heat of desire mixing with the warmth of closeness.She linked their arms together, pleased when he naturally compensated for the attachment.And then she told him.They walked together through the snow, Haven looming above them, but for a brief moment she didn’t feel the weight.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is in fact a retelling of an early romance conversation you have with Solas at Haven. However, it also morphed with an idea I picked up from some brilliant folks on tumblr - where Solas does yoga/tai chi as exercise. Damn those thighs....


End file.
